TCEST - Forgotten Conversations P3

Warning: TCEST 
Pairing: Raph & Donnie (Don't like? Don't read!)
Summary: Raph only kisses Donnie when he's drunk
Ages: Raph - 23, Donnie - 22    
Author Note: Turtles are not biologically related
        
        It had been a few weeks since Raph’s last night visit. As far as Don knew, the red banded ninja hadn’t been going out drinking with Casey because of the previous incident. The olive turtle tried to convince himself that it was a relief, but he hadn’t imagined it would hurt so badly when Raph confirmed the kiss didn’t mean anything – it was just the alcohol he’d been acting on.

        Don laid his head down on the desk and continued tapping the keyboard with one finger, absently listening to the clicking. Ever since he confirmed with Raph what happened that night, the emerald mutant was avoiding him. He still couldn’t believe what Raph thought happened between them! The red banded ninja had almost as wild an imagination as Mikey!

        Although, maybe he’d jump to the same conclusion if he woke up smelling another’s scent on himself and couldn’t remember the night before… The purple ninja’s neck heated when he remembered the pheromones he was giving off in response to Raph’s scent of arousal.  Donnie groaned and clamped his eyes shut.

        “Uh – Don?”

        The olive mutant jerked upright and spun in his swivel chair to see the last turtle he expected to interrupt him. Raph was standing half in the lab and half out of the doorway like he couldn’t wait to leave. Don nodded to acknowledge his brother and waited. The emerald turtle shifted uncomfortably and actively avoided making eye contact.

        “Leo says ta get ready fer patrol,” Raph rushed out, staring at his hand as he fidgeted with his wrist guard.

        “Okay, thanks for letting me know,” Don offered a small smile.

        Golden eyes flickered up to meet brown before just as quickly darting away, “No problem.”

        The bō master watched as the sai wielder left, feeling his heart clench slightly when the older mutant’s burly form disappeared around the corner. He let out a sigh and massaged his temples. Why did things have to be so weird between them now? It was just a kiss! Don frowned; maybe Raph was mad that he’d wasted his first kiss on him? Even if he was upset, it’s not like he remembered it anyway. He could just pretend it didn’t happen…

        Don spun back around to save his document, having first to delete the line of “j’s” he’d been inattentively typing before Raph interrupted. With the computer powering down, Don exited his lab and went to get ready for the night topside. As he passed the living room, he was surprised to see Mikey and Leo hanging out on the couch together. Leo was chuckling at something the youngest said and grinning widely – which was strange since the leader was usually meditating up until the minute they left for patrol. The serious turtle didn’t laugh very much – feeling the burden of responsibility even more since they’d grown older and accumulated more enemies – but Mikey did have the uncanny ability to get a chuckle out of anyone even during their most stressed times.

        The purple ninja stopped in his bedroom to grab his bō staff and shell cell before heading to the bathroom. As he passed Raph’s room, he couldn’t help but glance inside and remember the last time he’d gone into that room he'd ended up on top of the red ninja in the most provocative of positions. Don felt his beak flush slightly as the memory of his brother’s hands petting and groping his buttocks flooded his mind.

        With a shake to clear his head of the naughty thoughts forming, Donnie hurried to the bathroom. He told himself he shouldn’t let his mind wander to entertain those kinds of fantasies. Raph didn’t feel that way… and he shouldn’t… they were raised as brothers even if they weren’t biologically related. The brainiac sighed and wondered for the umpteenth time what was wrong with him for feeling the way he did toward the sai wielder.

        When he got to the end of the hall, the bathroom door was closed. The olive turtle frowned but didn’t have to wait long before he heard the toilet flush and the sound of the faucet turning on and off. Moments later the door opened and Raph almost walked into him. Golden eyes grew wide and he flinched. Just as quickly, the older turtle moved his hand to scratch the back of his neck nervously and averted his eyes.

        “Little jumpy?” Don asked teasingly, hoping to lighten the mood.

        Raph blinked, watching him pass and hurriedly replied, “No.”

        Don nodded, unconvinced, and sighed when he closed and locked the door. He’d have to figure out some way to talk to Raph so this weird behavior would stop. He’d been feeling so lonely lately. Usually he spent most of his social time with Raph; sure he interacted with Mikey and Leo, but with Raph they could talk so easily in the garage when they worked on their vehicles. Donnie had recently noticed Mikey and Leo were forming a closer bond, spending much more time together than they had in the past, so with them occupying more of each other’s time the genius turtle felt very left out.

        When he was finished in the bathroom, he joined the rest of his family in the living room. The clan of mutants headed topside in silence, weaving through the sewer tunnels until they reached the first manhole cover and ascended to the world above. Leo emerged first, quickly trailed by Mikey, and the two climbed the fire escape to the roof. Don followed after Raph and once they were all huddled, Leo explained their patrol plan.

        “Mikey and I will take the North side of town. Raph, you and Don take the South side. We’ll meet back here at 1 o’clock. Call if you run into trouble,” Leo stated calmly, nodding to both his brothers and then took off after the youngest ninja who was running and cheering enthusiastically about finally getting to stretch his legs.

        Don watched them leaving then glanced apprehensively at Raph whose expression could almost be described as wooden. The bō master felt his heart sink when he realized the emerald turtle was disappointed being stuck with him. He frowned deeply and followed after Raph who hadn’t wasted time running to the rooftop ledge and preparing to jump to the next. It wasn’t a surprise after that that much of their night was spent in an awkward silence, neither knowing how to break the tension that formed between them several weeks ago.

        “I’m sorry,” Donnie finally mumbled when they took a break to catch their breath.

        They had been patrolling for over an hour and a half, but so far only busted up a few drug deals and saved a woman from being mugged. Don sat down on the rooftop ledge and swung his feet, refusing to look at the turtle he felt he owed an apology. His body tensed slightly when he heard Raph move and sit next to him. Despite Raph’s choice to sit near him, he’d left a good two feet between them.

        “What? What are you sorry for?” Raph asked in disbelief, surprise ringing clear in his gruff voice.

        “You’re mad that I was your first kiss. But you can just pretend it didn’t happen. It’s not like you remember it anyway,” Donnie mumbled, suddenly he felt tears pricking his eyes and panicked – he could not cry in front of Raph, not about this!

        “I’m not mad at ya Donnie,” Raph reassured quickly, “I’m mad at mahself fer stealing your first kiss.”

        Don let out a shaky breath and willed the traitor tears not to fall. He wished he could explain how he was feeling but what if Raph rejected him? Called him disgusting? Or worse… what if he laughed? He’d confirmed the kiss hadn’t meant anything when Donnie told him he’d made a drunken mistake. Don chewed his lip and looked down at the ground.

        “I’m sorry, Don,” Raph said sincerely, “I wish I could take it back.”

        Those words ripped through the brainiac’s heart and he let out a strangled sound that he wished he could take back. The pained noise didn’t go unnoticed by the sai wielder who quickly scooted closer and hesitantly cupped his cheek so he could turn Don’s head and look into his eyes. Golden eyes widened in confusion when he saw the younger male’s were swimming with tears.

        “Donnie?”

        Don quickly turned his head away from Raph and stood up, walking away to put several feet of distance between them before he stopped. He crossed his arms over his plastron and rubbed his biceps like he was suddenly cold. How would he explain? Why was he even getting this emotional? Another tear trickled down his face and he scrubbed it away, angry with himself for not having more control. He was ruining everything!

        “Donnie, I’m sorry,” Raph repeated, the sound of his approach faltering after his apology.

        “Stop,” Don choked out and squeezed his eyes shut, “Stop saying you’re sorry.”

        Raph was silent for a few moments, but before he had time to say anything else Don gave in. There was no point hiding it anymore. His stupid break down left him no way to lie his way out of explaining the sudden burst of sadness.

        “I know it was a mistake… but – maybe – maybe I’m not sorry you stole my first kiss,” He whispered, too afraid to turn around and see the disgust painting the emerald turtle’s face.

        “Don, I –,” Raph started but fell silent.

        “I wish you’d stop ignoring me – these past two weeks have been so lonely! I get it you’re disgusted you kissed me. It didn’t mean anything to you… but – but maybe it meant something to me and… never mind…I wish you’d just stop apologizing. I already forgave you. Just forget it happened and go back to how you used to treat me.”

        “Donnie I can’t go back to how I used ta treat ya…” Raph stated quietly.

        “Why not?” His question came out a lot whinier than he intended as he turned around to face Raph, even if his face was streaming with embarrassing tears, he needed to know why things couldn’t be the same again.

        “Cause it meant somethin' ta me too… well it would've if I could remember it,” The older mutant gave an embarrassed smile and closed the space between them.

        His right hand came up to brush away the lingering tears, gently thumbing away the sadness and stroking the soft olive skin beneath. Raph's smile was soft and ... relieved? Donnie chewed his lip, eyes wide in confusion. Raph told him it hadn’t meant anything… why was he now saying it did?

        As if reading his mind, Raph explained, “I told ya it didn’t mean anything because I thought ya didn’t want it to mean anything. I’d give anything ta remember it. I’ve tried for weeks now.”

        Don inhaled sharply; his mind was racing just as fast as his heart was when Raph leaned in closer. Their beaks were so close now he could feel Raph’s breath tickling him. The olive turtle blinked rapidly as he listened to the emerald turtle's confession then closed his eyes and waited. This was it! Raph was going to kiss him again. But this time on purpose! Much to his dismay the impending kiss didn’t come and after a few seconds he opened one eye to peak at the older male.

        “Remind me?” Raph asked quietly.

        The brainiac turtle opened his eyes fully and stared at the stronger mutant. Golden eyes begged him to consent to the kiss, probably since the first was taken without. Don nodded slowly and leaned in, brushing his lips against Raph’s. The sai wielder moaned immediately at the light touch and awkwardly wrapped his arms around the smaller mutant to bring him closer, pressing their beaks together more forcefully. Don swiped his tongue across Raph’s lips to ask for permission, which Raph granted and moaned again when Don’s tongue invaded his mouth.

        The kiss was a little clumsy but they took their time, letting their tongues explore the new territory. While their mouths were busy, Raph brought his hand to the back of Don’s head and looped his fingers in the purple mask tails. Donnie hummed happily and leaned into Raph’s plastron, his hands coming up to Raph's face. Don smiled internally; this kiss was much better than their first couple, much longer as well, and he didn’t feel compelled to stop it like he needed to the previous times.

        He wished the moment could last forever, and knew by the way Raph was hungrily kissing him, the feeling was mutual. Unfortunately, their lungs were burning for air so they reluctantly parted. Panting harshly, they leaned back a little to look at each other; a bright blush covered both of their green faces. Donnie smiled shyly and tried to fix his mask which had been pulled down by the larger mutant playing with it.

        “Wow,” Raph whispered in awe and pierced Don with a look that caused the younger turtle to blush darker and look away, “That – that was way betta than I imagined it’d be. I – I … Donnie yer so amazing… can I kiss ya again?”

        The olive turtle grinned wider as he looked into bright eyes that gleamed with excitement. He nodded and Raph’s mouth was instantly on him again, this time wasting no time pulling him flush to his plastron and stroking his carapace as they made out under the stars. Don felt like he was melting now that Raph was taking the more dominant role he’d fantasized about. It was a good thing the emerald turtle’s strong arms were wrapped around him because he was feeling the cliché weak in the knees.

        “God, how could I forget this?” Raph panted and buried his face in the crook of Donnie’s neck to inhale the delicious scent rolling off his skin, “How could I forget how perfect this is? How amazing ya feel in mah arms.”

        Donnie chuckled stupidly and covered his eyes with his hand. He never imagined Raph to be so mushy – it was embarrassing him but at the same time his heart felt ready to explode with joy. The night had definitely taken a different turn than he originally thought it would when he apologized.

        “Did we use tongue the first time?” Raph questioned and stroked Don’s cheek adoringly.

        The younger mutant ran his hands down the larger’s plastron and explained, “Not the first time. But the second and third time you did.”

        “I kissed ya three times?” Raph gasped.

        Don nodded and wrapped his arms around Raph, leaning his head against the older mutant’s shoulder as he confessed quietly, “It was really hard to stop you from kissing me that second and third time because I wanted to keep kissing you so badly.”

        “Oh really?” Raph snorted, “What about the first time?”

        Don looked up and rolled his eyes at the cocky smirk playing across Raph’s lips, “The first time I was too surprised to comprehend what happened.”

        Raph chewed his lip apologetically and tipped the younger turtle’s face up again so he could press another gentler kiss to his beak. When a moan issued from the olive mutant Raph deepened the kiss. Don would have loved to stay like this, exploring each other in this new way for the rest of the night, but right as Raph’s fingers relooped in his mask tails, his shell cell rang.

        Donnie whined and pulled away from the burly mutant. He fished out his shell cell and flipped it open. The bō master tried to control his labored breath and answered, “Hey – Leo.”

        “Hey Don. Are you guys okay?”

        Donnie frowned, “Yeah – we’re fine… why?”

        “We agreed to meet back up at 1 o’clock. Where are you guys?”

        Brown eyes widened when he realized they were late and he glanced at Raph who was watching him carefully, “We’re on our way.”

        Hanging up and placing the shell cell back in his belt, Donnie turned his attention back to the turtle he’d been kissing. Raph nodded in understanding and they started running across the rooftops, heading back to where they split up from Mikey and Leo several hours earlier. When they were half way back, Raph skidded to a stop. Don raised an eye ridge and also stopped, back tracking slightly to see if he was okay.

        “Where do we go from here?” Raph asked almost apprehensively.

        “That way,” Donnie pointed in the direction they were heading.

        Golden eyes rolled to the sky, “I know that genius. Where do we go from here… with us?”

        “Oh…” Don chewed his lip, “Well… Leo and Mikey shouldn’t know… they wouldn’t understand…”

        Raph nodded in agreement, frowning slightly and scuffed his toes against the concrete while he waited for Don to continue. For a while they were both silent. It was clear to the younger ninja that Raph didn’t want to give up what they’d just started. Don didn't want to give it up either, but unfortunately, they also couldn’t risk their family finding out. Who knows what would happen if that happened? What would Master Splinter say? What would Leo and Mikey think? What would it do to their team?

        “This can just be our little secret?” Donnie finally decided and whispered hopefully.

        Raph stared at him for a moment before a small smile spread across his lips and he nodded in agreement. Feeling a flood of relief, the olive ninja closed the space between them and claimed one last kiss before they met up with the rest of their family. When they reached the rooftop where the other two ninjas were waiting, Raph told a believable lie about the reason they were late, and thankfully it wasn't questioned. After listening to Leo and Mikey's eventful patrol, the family headed back to the lair.

        As they walked through the sewer tunnels, Mikey was buzzing with excitement about a new comic coming out and talking Leo's ear off about the plotline. Although Leo wasn't very interested in comics anymore, he seemed to enjoy talking about it with Mikey. The emerald and olive turtles hadn't spoken much since they rejoined their brothers, but when Raph turned back and winked at him, Don grinned happily. They'd have to be careful to keep their 'secret' from the rest of the family, and normally this would cause the genius a lot of stress, but Don couldn't help but feel relieved about the way everything worked out. At least these kisses wouldn’t be forgotten and neither would their conversation. Raph was finally his and he couldn't be happier.