TCEST - Say Something (I've Given Up On You) P1

Warning: TCEST and one bad word
Pairings: Leo & Mikey / Raph & Donnie (Don't like? Don't read!)
Summary: Leo didn't return from his training in Central America when he promised he would. With only a brief letter addressed to Master Splinter weeks after he should have returned, Leonardo stops contacting his family altogether. It's been a year when he finally comes back into their lives. Unfortunately, his fun loving and happy mate has changed for the worse during his absence and feels betrayed by the ninja leader. Will Leo's lie lose him his relationship with Mikey? Will Mikey ever be able to forgive him?
Ages: Leo - 24, Raph - 23, Donnie - 22, Mikey - 21        

Author Note: Turtles are not biologically related    
        

        “How are they?” Leo awkwardly asked April as they huddled around the campfire.

        He hadn’t expected her to show up in Central America in search of an ancient artifact for her antique shop, Second Time Around. She’d taken advantage of the trip to hunt him down in the jungle after hearing rumors of a “ghost” vigilante. So now, here they were, catching up over a dinner of fish he'd caught earlier. 

        “Don got a job as an IT specialist and Raph has been keeping busy by going out at night as ‘The Nightwatcher’ to help with the increased crime rate. He doesn’t think any of us know it’s him – so we’ve all been playing along and pretending it’s a big mystery,” April explained, knowing that who he really wanted to hear about was Mikey. “Raph fights with Don more since he doesn’t have you to fight with. It’s been straining their relationship.”

        Leo nodded grimly and poked the fire, watching the embers spark and dance into the dark sky. He closed his eyes briefly, taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly before he asked what had been weighing on his mind for nearly nine months now, “How’s Mikey?”

        April frowned and Leo’s heart tightened. With her eyes focused on the flickering flames of the campfire, she told him exactly what he didn’t want to hear, “Mikey is angry and depressed. He’s not acting like himself. He’s acting like Raph, looking for trouble… He hate’s Master Splinter and has distanced himself from everyone else. Mikey’s broken and we’re all worried it’s beyond repair. If you’d come back home, though, you might be able to fix it!” She was speaking quickly now, worry shimmering in her green eyes, “Mikey’s been hurt so deeply by your decision to stay. I think… he’s given up on you…”

        Leo looked down at the ground and nodded again, but his heart was breaking. Hot tears welled up in his hazel eyes and threatened to stain his mask. He knew Mikey wouldn’t handle his decision well.

        “Leo, they think you’re dead since you haven’t written to anybody in months,” April whispered and placed her hand on his, “I wasn’t sure if I’d even find you when I came here.”

        “I can’t face them. I’ve failed,” He choked out, refusing to look at her, and brushed her hand away; he didn’t deserve her comfort.

        “That’s not true Leo, your family misses you so much. We’re all really worried about Mikey. His light is… gone. Nobody’s seen him smile in months….he still cries at night sometimes. He’ll deny it, but Raph told me he’s heard him…”

        The thought of Mikey crying sent a wave of shame crashing down on the blue banded ninja, threatening to drown him in despair. How could he face Mikey after what he did? He’d promised he’d come back on time and in breaking that promise, he’d hurt the one that meant the most to him.

        “Please, Leo,” April begged, “If you care about Mikey, come back.”

        “You know I care about Mikey,” His eyes flashed with anger. How dare she think he didn’t care about him? He’d been the sole thought occupying his mind over the past year.

        “I know you care about Mikey,” She said softly, “But I don’t think Mikey knows that anymore.”

--------------------------------

        “Please don’t leave me,” Mikey whispered, struggling back the hot tears that were pressing against his closed eyelids.

        After their marathon of love making, which had been more emotional than usual, he was cuddled up close to Leo’s side while they relaxed in their shared bed and enjoyed the afterglow of their multiple couplings. Leo was meant to leave for his training in Central America the next day, and Mikey wasn’t handling the impending separation well. Leo held him tighter and nuzzled his cheek, nudging Mikey to open his eyes and look at him.

        “It’s only for a couple months,” Leo reminded him gently and kissed his forehead.

        “That’s like forever,” His sea green mate sniffled.

        Leo sighed and smoothed his hand down Mikey’s arm as he explained for the hundredth time, “Master Splinter wants me to go train to be a better leader. I can’t disobey his orders Mikey.”

        “Why can’t I go with you?” Mikey asked as tears spilled down his cheeks.

        "It wouldn’t be safe.”

        “It’s safe enough for you though?” He challenged, staring into Leo’s gloomy eyes with his watering blue ones, “I’m a highly trained ninja too, Leonardo.”

        “I know that Mike. I don’t have a choice. Master Splinter said I had to do this alone.”

        Mikey’s eyes brimmed, but he nodded anyway. He knew if their father wished this, there was no way Leo would refuse. “Please be careful,” He whispered and pressed his beak to Leo’s.

        “I’ll be back in 3 months, I promise,” Leo said and gave him a small smile when they ended their kiss.

        His last conversation with Mikey played through his head on repeat as he walked through the familiar sewer tunnels. He’d left early the next morning while his family was sleeping, knowing none of them would be able to handle the goodbyes... That had been a year ago.

        Leo’s eye ridges knit together in worry as he got closer to the lair. His stomach felt like it was twisting in knots and a thin sheen of perspiration clung to his leaf green skin. He wasn’t really sure what to expect when he got home since he’d been gone longer than any of them planned. What if they wouldn’t take him back? What if they hated him?

        Leo noticed his steps becoming progressively slower and smaller until he completely stopped and leaned against one of the tunnel walls. He closed his eyes and sighed deeply. April had managed to track him down in Central America and expressed her concern for the youngest mutant. She told him Mikey had given up on him. Leo wasn’t surprised, but it still hurt terribly and despite his failure, it was the reason he returned home – to fix his mistake, if possible. Leo rubbed the tension out of his neck and tightened his mask before walking the rest of the way to the lair.

        The moment he stepped through the entrance, his eyes locked on his rat father and the olive green turtle reading on the couch. A tentative smile spread across his anxious face and he cleared his throat. The mutants in the living room whipped around, eyes widening in surprise and huge grins breaking out on each of their faces when they saw him. In a matter of seconds they were on their feet and racing towards him.

        “Leo!” Donnie exclaimed and tackled him. “You’re back! Thank God! We were so worried! I’m so happy to see you!”

        Leo stumbled backwards from the force of the hug and smiled as Donnie rambled, “I’m happy to see you too, Don.”

        “My son,” Master Splinter beamed and opened his arms for an embrace.

        Donnie reluctantly let go of his older brother so Leo could hug their father. The purple banded ninja rocked on the balls of his feet and couldn’t keep the smile off his face. The excited commotion had drawn Raph from his room and upon seeing Leo, he too grinned in relief and more than a little shock. The red banded turtle leapt down the stairs and made his way towards the others. He clapped Leo on the shell when Master Splinter released him.

        “We thought you got eaten by monkeys or some shit,” Raph chuckled.

        “Thanks Raph,” Leo rolled his eyes and then pulled Raph into a tight hug as well.

        Happiness blossomed in his lonely heart from how warmly he’d been welcomed home. After spending months blocking out how badly he missed his family, he was at a loss of words to describe how wonderful it was to see them all again. Unfortunately, the one Leo really wanted to see was Mikey, and he hadn’t made an appearance yet.

        Leo didn’t have to wait long for his wish to be fulfilled though, because seconds later, Mikey came out of the kitchen and froze. His surprise lasted only a few moments before it quickly faded to be replaced by cold, narrowed blue eyes. His mouth tightened into a thin line as he glared at his oldest brother. Leo squirmed beneath Mike’s unforgiving gaze for what felt like an eternity. He wasn’t sure how to react to seeing his younger lover looking so hateful, so he decided his best option was to feel out the situation and wait judgment.

        “Finally remember about us did you?” Mikey asked in a steely voice, “I guess the calendar works differently in Central America.” There was no warmth in his voice like there normally was when he spoke to his oldest brother.

        “Mikey – ,” Leo pleaded weakly, but before he could say anything else, Mikey turned on his heel and stalked up the stairs towards his bedroom, slamming the door loudly behind him.

        Leo’s eye ridges pulled together and the corners of his mouth drooped down. He blinked several times and stared at the spot where his lover disappeared. Mikey reacted exactly how he feared he would and Leo could feel his beak sting with the threat of oncoming tears. His other brothers looked at each other nervously and shook their heads.

        “Give him some time to come around, my son,” Master Splinter said forlornly and set a comforting hand on Leo’s shoulder.

        Leo nodded sadly and trudged to his room to unpack. As he passed Mikey’s room he swore he heard soft sniffling. The knife twisted in his heart again and once more was overwhelmed by guilt. 

        Leo unpacked his suitcase in silence, his hazel eyes blurred by the unshed tears he refused to let fall. When his few belongings were put away, he flopped down onto the bed. After sleeping in caves and trees for the past year, the comfortable mattress felt like a cloud, but his happy thought was quickly dampened when he noticed something missing. Mikey’s scent was gone, meaning his younger lover must have gone back to sleeping in his own room a long time ago. Leo bit his lip and stared at the blank ceiling. He needed to talk to Mikey, to apologize and explain…to explain what, though?  

TBC